This morning I decided to go to church. Now this may seem like a very predictable thing for me to do but I’ll have you know that I have a great civil war battling inside of my soul for some time now. It has been made clear to me, finally, that my own selfish, naive desires have not helped me find who I am but have only led me down a dead end. I alone made the self-sacrificing option of allowing Satanic forces into my life and I take full blame of that. The sermon this morning spoke about how healthy margins in our busy schedules can really be, allowing for rest and construction of strong familial bonds.
Church this morning also defeated this reluctant, nay-saying mindset that I have been soaking up about how my life is of little importance to God in comparison to the wars in the middle East or the orphans in China. Over the years, my mind has been obliterated of any signs of trusting God and I have finally come to determine that trusting God, faith in God, is A CHOICE that each individual must pinpoint in their own heart. I will not lie, I have indeed been wrestling with questions like, “How do I make my heart believe what I know is right when my mind is so numbed to it?” My answer is simple. MAKE YOUR CHOICE to believe, no matter how wrong your mind tells you you’re being.
My/Your heart knows its home.