The Jesus Debate has been boggling my mind. I’m just in a very tight place right now- everything is set out for me, but is that truly from God? Because if Jesus wasn’t real, how do we know his teachings aren’t faulty? But I’m sick of walking this God-forsaken tight rope.
Because I DO believe in my savior!
The Jesus I believe in is WELL. He wants the best for EVERYONE. Including myself, so I really shouldn’t feel guilty with my full stomach and fridge. But I really feel like my head is just going to explode if I don’t calm down. I’ve been thinking too hard all day. Sometimes, I query if thinking is indeed embellishing the very problem you are trying to solve. Then my mind retorts with “what if there isn’t a problem?” But I refuse to believe that because the only option that that would leave me with then is that my mind is severely sadistic and malevolent to invent the concept of a problem.
On other things, I was thinking about painting a cityscape against the night sky… now I just need to find me some paint because I’m feeling the creative bug… I want the night sky to be messy and have all colors swirled into it- because black is the conglomeration of all colors, the night sky, the crowded world… are you picking up what I’m laying down…?
It’s fine by me/ if you never leave/ and we’ll stay like this forever/ it’s fine by me