I haven’t been able to write anything for the last two days because so much has been happening- in both my mind, outlining my emotional well-being and with activities and opportunities in my life. I have come to the understanding and the activity of fully respecting myself. This means doing what is unquestionably in my own best interest and listening to my head over my heart. This has become clear to me with several instances of feigned affection. I have constantly been pouring out my heart and now the sparkling glass is empty.
This does not mean I failed anyone but God, it only means that I’m not God. I couldn’t handle the unrealistic expectations that were imparted on me, just like ANY person.
Last night, I went out for half-priced appetizers with my fellow students after my night class and I thoroughly enjoyed having that fellowship time with my good friends Salem and Tina, talking with Becca, Seth and Wade and just sharing my life with a group of fellow believers, my struggles and my excitements. I refuse to turn away from the Lord! I have failed him, but He is always faithful and He will not fail me!
Playing frisbee with Sam, Antonia, Kaleb and Becca was definitely a new experience for me, but it was a good lesson about time well spent. Other people are better and more important for me to focus on then my own troubles. –LET THE HEALING BEGIN!
And today, there is an Easter Egg Hunt at work!!! My inner child is squealing like a newborn piglet.