The Art of War

“Was I the greatest/ …in your arsenal?”

Today has been a day of packing for me.  I am coming to the end of a journey, a very strenuous journey disguised as a living arrangement.  Living at this house has greatly altered my life experiences and made me into a stronger woman.  In the very beginning stages of my adult life, this has most likely been an overall good experience.  Now I am moving into my very own apartment and somewhat stretching my own life-skills out and testing my independence.  I feel very ready for this change.

The house I have resided in for the last 6 months has “out-stayed” its welcome, or maybe I have, but either way- I’m ecstatic to be abandoning this house.  Something has changed in my relationships with my roommates.  They are nice people, I just do not like living with them.  I feel like they’re breathing down my neck, examining every move I make.

This change is overbearing with anxiousness.  At the same time, it has been exhilarating in its own right.  I found a video on my ipod of my ex and I… it temporarily brought on a wave of nostalgia but then I purposefully took notice of the closest thing near me so I could immerse myself in any small menial task that would stall the pain.  Either it did or I’m just significantly numb… Or both.

Being numb is a strange feeling.  I can’t say that I have ever before felt this level of despair and frustration.  The level of numbness that signifies surrender.

Maybe this is a step in the right direction?

“You thought your hands could heal/ but they left me sore”

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About hannahjustine

This is my life story. Don't expect for me to entirely spill the beans on everything, but my life is certainly a sloppy recipe of writing, research, realizations and love. Basically, I'm learning as I go. I strive to positively impact my community, my sphere of influence. I believe that this happens only through living your life to the fullest! View all posts by hannahjustine

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