I’m emotionally in a dark, dark place.
I’m just very emotionless right now. Everything is going really well for me. I have a paid internship NOW, a house to reside in, money to burn. I feel remarkably at home in the atmosphere with having my own cubicle and my own to-do list. Its rather nice being a productive part of society. I’m very thrilled to tell you, I’m the editor/ proof-reader of Franchise Times magazine now! I have my own cubicle, desk, computer, to-do list. I feel blessed-
but I’m completely distanced from you, not by choice but by understanding that we NEED to be without each other right now.
I needed to get away from your resentment, your hostile shyness. In my mind, you repeatedly whisper at me, “I only see your scars.” It’s hypnotic and destructive.
Such a terrible combination.
I don’t have scars. Mark my words. Scars don’t heal fully, they leave terrible reminders. Mark my words, I AM FREE of scar tissue, they are but wounds! Terrible, mind-numbing wounds. Jesus heals wounds! Jesus will wash away any remnant of wounds within me.
But not everything is about me:
I pray that Jesus heals you. I pray that you turn your heart over to Jesus, the Living Manifestation of God The Father.
Everything is light around me, except this innate, darkened longing for only you- but I stop myself, violently shake my head back and forth and recollect my senses.
I’m still a whole person and Jesus is walking with me, which explains the blessings with a job, nice housing and friends…
I pray that you are doing alright. Every night I pray for your well-being, for your best.